264. From Complete Loss & Trauma to an Unimaginably Amazing New Life - CK Collins

Kara Goodwin: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome to the Meditation Conversation, the podcast to support your spiritual revolution. I'm your host, Kara Goodwin, and today I'm joined by Kelly Collins, CK Collins, a k a. Kelly was an award-winning publisher and owner of a news publishing. Company in the Nashville, Tennessee area. She sold her company and retired from the industry in 2021.

She's the author of The Swipe Right Effect, the Power to Get Unstuck. 

I love the perspective that Kelly brings to this conversation. She tells us about how her life turned completely upside down and how she was rocked to the very core of her identity. She speaks with authenticity and [00:01:00] vulnerability about how she felt like a victim for a long time after she thought she was over it. And how she really had to work to even identify how she was creating her own negative reality Most importantly, she shares about things that she did to move herself in a much more positive direction and how she could never imagine just how much she would truly, truly. Love her new life. 

 She's such a joy and beautiful soul. And I can't wait for you to dive into her story. So before we start stick. 

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Kara Goodwin: So welcome Kelly. I'm excited to talk to you today. 

Kelly Collins: Oh, thank you for having me on. I'm excited to talk to you too. So 

Kara Goodwin: can you talk to us about. Where you are in life today and how I know there was a significant loss that kind of shifted you onto a new path, and I would love to hear what you can share with us about that.

Kelly Collins: Okay, sure. I, I was a small business owner and a mother of three wonderful daughters, and had been married 30 years. In 2017, this whole trifecta of change happened. I became an empty nester. The last one headed off to college, and I found out I was getting a divorce, and because of the divorce, I ended up [00:03:00] selling my business.

So it was like this. Trifecta of really a loss of identity. Mm-hmm. Because all of these parts of me that I was so proud of or that I most identified with were incomplete turmoil really. And, and I started, once I sold my business, I had to stay on with the company. Who bought my business for three years, and so I knew I had this kind of three year window to figure things out to decide if, I could stay or they, I guess they could have also chosen for me not to stay, but I did choose to retire.

I think I just got to a point where I felt like, I'm living a new version, but of my old life and I really wanted to change things and so I retired and I did a travel sabbatical for a year, and that's when I wrote the book. 

Kara Goodwin: Oh wow. I'm really [00:04:00] sorry to hear about the turmoil. it is amazing how life can come and just decide for us, you know?

Oh, okay. Time for a change. I went through that myself in 2016, where it was just like, the life that I knew, like when 2016 started was radically different from how 2016 finished, and I couldn't believe how much. Trauma happened, or, catastrophe Yeah. Happened in such a short time. and it really does seem like life just.

Comes and is almost picks us up by the shoulders and is like, okay, no. Face this way now, because this is the direction that Right. you're wanting to get on 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. Like the Wizard of Oz. Okay. Up in the tornado and thrown out on the other side. Right, right. In a whole new world. Yeah. Right. 

Kara Goodwin: What work did you have to do to heal and to find a new path to empowerment?

Kelly Collins: I was really [00:05:00] lucky because a friend of mine, bill, had been on two very long spiritual hikes, called the Camino Des Santiago. Mm-hmm. And so within, I guess like four or five weeks, I. Had decided that I was going to hike the Camino and it's a 500 mile hike and the French ESE that leads down into Spain.

Yeah, 

Kara Goodwin: I, it's on my. It's on my dashboard. Yeah. For at some point. Yeah. 

Kelly Collins: Oh, good. we need to have a whole nother talk about that. Yeah. Offline. Offline. I'd love to help you, you know, if you need any, advice on that. Oh, I appreciate that. Yeah. But that talk, that walk. Mm-hmm.Really helped me restart because it was basically seven weeks to work on myself.

And 

Kara Goodwin: so you started at the very, very top, cuz you can join the mm-hmm. Through mm-hmm.wherever you want to make it, whatever right length that you want. But you were up in the py. 

Kelly Collins: yes. I did the whole [00:06:00] thing and I was a runner and so I was in pretty good shape, but I still trained for four months.

Cuz you have to train with the backpack. You can't just take off and carry a 20 pound backpack for six weeks. It doesn't do well if you do. but. I've met a lot of people who tried. Yeah. but that really was my restart button. And 

Kara Goodwin: and did you do that on your own or with a 

Kelly Collins: group or? I did do it on my own.

Mm-hmm.I met people along the way and you form what they call a Camino family. Mm-hmm. And, you help each other through things. And they were very supportive and I was supportive of them. and they're still, I still talk to them on a very regular basis. They're. Very important people in my life.

But that, that definitely helped me get in the mindset of, okay, I know I can do this and, all those great people helped me and in fact, Three of them are, I write about them in my book. Oh wow. 

Kara Goodwin: So how many miles a day were you [00:07:00] averaging? 

Kelly Collins: It is, really anywhere from eight was probably, I think I had one day where it was only eight miles up to 25 1 day.

Wow. So it depends on how far apart the towns are, your energy level that day. 

Wow. Right. So probably an average of 15. Okay. 

Kara Goodwin: And If somebody's listening and they're just thinking, okay, well you just went through all this trauma, this turmoil, your life got changed upside down, and then you walked for five weeks.

How did that transform you? Is there any, and it, I know a lot of this stuff like goes beyond language, but what sort of context can you give for why that's such a healing journey? 

Kelly Collins: It is. Well, there's a couple of reasons. I would say first, You all you have to do. I mean, I was used to, hit the ground running literally in the morning.

Go for a run, go to work. Work all day, come home. I was taxi driver for the kids and all their activities and we were just an overly busy [00:08:00] family. and all of a sudden you are just in this world where you wake up, you eat, you walk, you eat, you walk, you eat, you walk, you sleep. Mm-hmm. You get up and you do it again.

And in that time, there's just so little responsibility. Other than taking care of yourself and, unless you choose to help other people, do some, if somebody's having a problem. but there's, and then the second thing is, there's this beautiful way that pilgrim's, that's what you call yourself when you, when you're walking on the, Camino and they instinctively.

Make space for each other and it's, I think it's because there's, an innate knowing. That we're all there to figure something out. Mm-hmm. And when you go through your normal day, you're not looking at the person you're trying to sell advertising to, or the person at [00:09:00] the grocery store thinking, wow, I bet they're really going through something.

You don't ever really think like that in a, in your normal life, you're just doing what you're supposed to do and click, checking all the boxes. But everybody's there for some reason, seeking a relationship with God or,trying to forgive someone or trying to forgive themself. I met people who were trying to get off alcohol.

I met people who'd lost their wives. it was, everybody's there for a reason and they taught me how to make space for someone. Not to completely engage, as in put, insert yourself into their problem. Like, oh, I know how you feel. Or,honey, you know what you need to do. Mm-hmm. I mean, it was just listening and making space for that.

Yes. And it, it was so peaceful and comforting. I could talk about my pain, I could cry or, it [00:10:00] just, and they would just listen and if I asked for advice, of course they would've given it, but I really didn't, I wasn't seeking advice all of the time. What, mm-hmm. I needed was. to say it out loud, Mm-hmm. And to just, and I have this saying, that my friend Kay told me about is like, grief is like water. The more you spread it around, the more it evaporates. Mm-hmm. And I was grieving. And so the more I shared about it, the less power it had over me. Mm-hmm. And, and I think that's why I healed was, I think at one line in my book, I, I said something like, the.

All of the words as I said them, it was like the grief was evaporating into the ether or, falling to the ground and leaving it on the path and walking away. Mm-hmm. And so it was a lot of that just unpacking. It was 30 years, 31 years of marriage. Had my 31st anniversary while I was there.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. So there's, that was a 

Kara Goodwin: long time. Yeah. There's a friend of mine, a mentor, [00:11:00] Michael Massey, he's been on the podcast a lot and He talks about, Grief or sadness shared is halved. Mm-hmm. And Joy shared is doubled. Oh, I love that. Yeah. And it really does. Just what a blessing to have people who hold space, who were able to hold space for you in that way.

Because as you say, just being able to. Think through and speak out loud. It helps us to process and kind of frame and helps things to drop in, like as we're saying it. And I love the point that you made too, where it wasn't about learning what people had to tell you. what should I do? How should I feel about this?

How can I change how I feel about this? Because there can be a tendency to. Stop listening when we think we have the answer for somebody and just interjecting. Right? And I find that really hard to be [00:12:00] around people like that. I have a couple people in my life that come immediately to mind where it's like I can hardly even get.

my problem out before they're jumping on like, what you should do, what you, and it's like, you haven't even finished listening to me, or this isn't an issue anymore. I'm just telling you a story. I don't need to hear how you would've solved it. The fact, yeah, do you wanna listen or not, or they wanna tell me the problem that they have that's related to it.

And anyway, luckily not a lot of people in my life like that, but. Just when I do come up against it, it's like, oh my goodness, you're just stepping all over me right now. Just hold. just breathe and don't say anything. You know? Right. And it's amazing how that helps 

Kelly Collins: us. Right. And the beautiful thing was I learned to do it for other people as well.

I am sure. And so it really was life changing because I think I was that type of person. Who tried to solve problems. if somebody was telling me about something immediate, I out of [00:13:00] love, I wanted to help them. Mm-hmm. Um, I hope I wasn't too obnoxious about it, but,but I know that I changed, I know that I was the type of person who always wanted to say, I know how you feel.

Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, I get it. I have, I've experienced that too, and it's not necessary. Mm-hmm. To interject yourself. To help someone. Yeah. And I think I just, out of innocent, honestly, innocently just didn't understand that. Yeah, absolutely. yeah. But, and and as we get older, more of our friends have something happen to them, more of them get divorced.

parents have problems. You lose people that they die. Mm-hmm. And you, it's good to mature into the knowing of how important it is to create space for someone and let them. Just talk. Yeah, I think it's, it's a, I think it can be just a maturity thing. I'm sure some people are just born with it, but yeah, you're 

Kara Goodwin: right.

It can take just life [00:14:00] experience to feel on both sides of it and to understand. Mm-hmm.and I think we do try to approach things from a solution oriented, you know? Mm-hmm. Wanting to be useful and, It's not like, we're trying to be obnoxious or whatever it is, but it'ss just there is like, to develop that skill is really a gift, for those that we're interacting with.

Absolutely. Yeah. Was there anything else that comes to mind in terms of your traveling? Cuz you took sabbatical or, I don't know if you would call it a sabbatical or not, but mm-hmm. When you really dove into, travel. And that being such a balm for the soul. Yeah. I know that, that travel played a big role in helping you to become unstuck.

Yes. And I don't know if you have any other, thoughts About how travel played 

Kelly Collins: that role for you? Yeah, I think so. I kind of look at the Camino as the beginning of my solo travel. Of course I was married for 30 years and I had kids and we traveled a pretty good amount, but I was never, ever [00:15:00] traveling alone.

Mm-hmm. So here I am at 52 years old and, setting out to, figure things out, but, yeah, that year of travel, 20, end of 21, most of, almost all of 22. I I wouldn't say pushed myself, that's probably a little bit too strong of a word, but I challenged myself to go out and try new things and I wanted hiking to be a part of that because, it is zen for me when I get out there, whether I'm with someone or whether I'm alone, just being in nature and having that physical, challenge it, it helps me heal from just daily stuff, you know, and it's my reset button.

it stayed my reset button after the camino, I guess is what I'm trying to say. So I did, I did five weeks in Buenas and I took tango lessons. That was very scary. Wow. Oh gosh. That it's such a hard dance and, but I love to dance and. when I was first getting [00:16:00] divorced, I jumped into doing salsa lessons cuz in Nashville, where I lived at the time, they had, free salsa lessons like three nights a week.

So I would go do that. Just, I didn't wanna be home alone. It was, and it was something that I'd always wanted to do. And so it became, so I started doing things like that, like putting myself out there to. To, change my focus to, to adapt to this new way of life. What can I do to take away from what I'm missing or what I would've been doing, having dinner with my husband or whatever.

I love to tell people that like, that are coming out of a divorce, like go do something that you wouldn't have been able to do had you still been married. You know that's an important part of,just getting out of your. Comfort zone. Mm-hmm. That's not so comfortable anymore. 

Kara Goodwin: Right.

Absolutely. I love that. And just the moving of the body. [00:17:00] Yes. there's so much when we start thinking about things in terms of energy and our body being energy, our beings being energy and. The opportunity that we have when we're moving our body in new ways. with the walking, the heavy walking that you were doing as a pilgrim and the dancing, there was a lot of kind of somatic, methodology subconsciously maybe in your healing journey where it was like, okay, I'm gonna leave some of this ener like.

Get some of this energy shaken out of my physical Yeah. And to help process and release. 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. And I think it's, it was important for me too to make sure that I did walk alone, cuz I am a very type A social person. Mm-hmm. And I would always want to be with people and in fact probably, just would've said, I won't go on a run today cause I'm not meeting someone.

that was that. my exercise was so tied to being social and being with friends [00:18:00] and, but when you're alone, you can meditate while you're walking. Yeah. And that was something else that I. my friend Linda taught me on the trail in La Camino was how to really get into and meditate while you're walking.

Of course you have to be safe place Oh, right. To do that. Not on 

Kara Goodwin: a cliff's edge. 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. Not in a downtown area. Yeah. But yeah, and it was a really, peaceful experience to, to learn how to do that. And I was able to bring that home with me and I began a meditation practice. in the morning and in the evening, and it really, when you're going through something hard, when you're going to bed, that's one of the hardest times.

Yeah. As you're alone and your, mind gets the spa, I call 'em the spins, Mm-hmm. Just get latched onto something that hurts and you can't let it go. And, meditation was my way of learning to deal. With those kind of things. Hmm. 

Kara Goodwin: I love that. And I'm really curious that [00:19:00] you talk about your, when I listened to you saying like, I am naturally inclined to want to be with social on.

Mm-hmm. Like if I'm walking, doing a pilgrimage, I had the opposite when you were talking about like, oh, you meet people and you talk and you're da da da, and I'm like, that's fine, but I wonder how you can get out of that. Because I would. Want little doses of that. But I would really want the alone time.

I would really want the to be conscientious about like this step and now this step and what do I hear and what do I see around me and what's the air like, and just taking that time to be. Really immersed in it. Yeah. Rather than always talking to somebody or listening to somebody. So it sounds like you do have that fluidity and flexibility.

Kelly Collins: Absolutely. Yeah. And in fact, that's really important. it's an important part of how the pilgrims interact. they're pretty, I [00:20:00] would just say, How are you? Do you know, if I knew somebody was having a hard time, like how are you doing today? Do you wanna walk with somebody or do you wanna spend time alone?

I was pretty good about saying I wanna spend time alone. I remember when I first started walking alone, like after I'd met my Camino family, I was walking with music. Mm-hmm. And it was part of what I did when I ran. And so it was just a holdover from my running experiences and. One of them said, how much are you able to really think about stuff?

If you've got, what is that song? I love that song. I can, walk 500 miles away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the first song on my playlist, Uhhuh. So I listened to that one a lot, and I thought he, I said, thank you for saying that to me because you're absolutely right. Like, I can't meditate while I walk, or I can't really think things through if I'm listening to music.

Mm-hmm. And so it was kind of, you know, cool. it's a small thing that they [00:21:00] just thought. would help you. I said, yeah. Yeah. So I had days where I did because I was in a great mood and I would dance. I would dance while I was walking down the path, and people would go, oh, you're that lady who dances watching.

Yeah, that's me. Busted. I am from the music city in Asheville. Yeah, that's right. I love that. 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Well, talk to us about your book, the Swipe Write Effect. the power to get unstuck. I assume that your journey coming out of, coming through your meditation and all of the changes that we've already talked about, were kind of the impetus for it, but why the swipe right 

Kelly Collins: effect.

So in dating apps mm-hmm.only half. Of the world on dating apps that have, that got divorced. Right. And, I 

Kara Goodwin: think a lot of people are on dating apps. 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. But if you're not, you wouldn't understand what I mean by the swipe. Right. But it's basically a play on [00:22:00] words of, you swipe right when you're choosing someone.

Mm-hmm. And I am saying choose yourself, swipe right for yourself. And I do explain it preface. I love that uhhuh. But, and when you choose yourself,your power is there. Mm-hmm. Your power is there. Your energy's there. And so I'm, I also say in the preface, like, to me, we all have power and we don't always understand.

We, you know, you forget that you have. power. And the reason I say you have power is because you have choice. whether it was God-given or universe given whatever we have choices, we have a will. And I want people who are in a tough situation going through a big life change to choose. To be happy again, choose to take the first step.

Choose to take salsa cce, choose to go hike in the park one day. But I think you forget when [00:23:00] you're in pain that you are the one, only one who can actually get you out of it. You start, oh, okay, wanna go to a counselor? I'm gonna go to a psychiatrist, whatever. Go to your minister, but it's still you.

Mm-hmm. Who has to make the choice. Nobody can take these steps for you. And so I just think there's so much, power in. And the choice. And so I was super stuck. I had lost all three of my identities, you know? Mm-hmm. Yes. I was still a mom, but my house was empty. Mm-hmm. I was used to the beauty of chaos, of having three children and golden retriever and a house full of family and friends, and I went to this, almost isolation.

Mm-hmm. And. it took one step at a time, but the book is really, a pay it forward. every chapter is, I tell my story of where I was at a [00:24:00] particular time in my life and a piece of advice that was given to me. And then I interview the person who gave me the advice. Oh, that's beautiful. Beautiful. And three of the interviews are from people from the Camino Uhhuh.

It's people, a woman I've known since middle school. It was soccer moms. It was, it was people. Mm-hmm. My neighbors, but so many people held me up and literally held me. Mm. Um, through a couple of really tough years. And, but it was while I was traveling last year. That I just stepped up my gratitude practice.

So while I'm hiking in Patagonia and I'm by myself for days I am, I'm reflecting back what am I grateful for? I'm grateful when Kelly said that to me. One of my friends' name also named Kelly. Mm-hmm. Hmm. I'm grateful when Allison said that to me, and then I am reflecting on how it helped me heal, and I just started thinking like, I really wanna share [00:25:00] this.

With people. Hmm. So one by one, I made appointments with my friends and I told 'em what I wanted to do and, and they all, not, one of them turned me down. They all agreed. Now I do anonymize, I, Them. I don't use their real names. And I tried to change as, or take out as many details as possible.

Mm-hmm. So like somebody was my neighbor, I left that out because that would've been, helped them be identified. But so everybody in there has the name of a country music star except me. Oh, okay. So I have, Loretta and Dolly and yeah, that's very Nashville. Love you. Yeah, it was very, it was an homage to Nashville for sure.

Well, I was 

Kara Goodwin: gonna say, what a beautiful homage to the people that, it's just a beautiful circle. It sounds like your book in terms of, you putting that out to, take what you've been through and put that forward to try to help somebody who is new. But where you, [00:26:00] you know mm-hmm.

You've been there, but also to kinda reach back and to say, okay, well here's what came from the experience of others. Yeah. That kind of is coming now through you, but bring, you're like bridging, you know, the what, what came for you, right. And then passing that on. And you said about it being a pay it forward, that's, Really 

Kelly Collins: beautiful.

Yeah. And these 10 women were super open. And that's why I said from the beginning, you will be anonymous. Because I wanted them to be able to share their pain and I'm pretty brutally honest about where I was and the pain I was in and the thoughts that were running through my head. Because what's so cool about all of it is I've been able to make something.

Beautiful come out of that pain. Mm-hmm. And, you know, these friendships that I've shared and, [00:27:00] and I'm just so happy now. Yeah. And it, it's there's so much more peace in my life. Than I ever had. No, I could still be unhappy in my marriage. I could still be running that business and wearing myself out 70 hours a week.

I could be so many other things in what I am now that the most important thing I am now is happy. Yeah, I love that. Joyful, I'm grateful. I'm, I just, my life is so much better than it was, and I want people to first of all say if she did it, I can do it because I'm not extraordinary. I was just a normal middle class woman.

I'm extraordinary in that I. I was able to get past it and I see people not getting past things quite often and so that's well why I wrote it. 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. Do you, if you look back to 2017, is there any scenario that you could have imagined, at that time where you would fast forward seven y [00:28:00] six years and say, I am so much better off than I was in 2017 or 2016, or, before everything came down.

Kelly Collins: Yeah. I couldn't see a minute ahead. Yeah. I was so hurt. Mm-hmm. And, there was betrayal in my marriage and so it was just this whole, Like I, said it before, it was a loss of identity, Right. I thought I would always be married. What am I gonna do now? Mm-hmm. Like, how do I go forward?

And I don't think I ever could have, imagined retire. I could have imagined writing a book cuz I had always loved to write, but I don't think I could have imagined. Retiring at 55 and traveling the world and Yeah. and writing, writing a book. I like this. I wouldn't, no, I thought I was gonna write fiction.

Kara Goodwin: Mm-hmm. I didn't know I was gonna write a memoir, creative memoir. Right. Well, and I do wanna come back, [00:29:00] I actually wrote down identity as you were telling your story, because I'd love to just. Unpack that a little bit, where the role that identity plays, and I just recently hosted a webinar with, actually the person that I mentioned before, Michael Massey, who's a shaman, and he's been on the podcast a lot, but he, that was the whole point of the podcast was transcending the ego and 

How we identify, do we identify as this? As our, human attributes in terms of, who our relationships, whether it's mm-hmm. I'm a parent or I'm a wife, or, our careers, our pain, our story, our traumas, all of these different things that happen to us as humans and as individuals in this life, and how attached we can be to that.

Mm-hmm. And then we have, The opportunity to identify at a [00:30:00] higher level where it's like, okay, I'm having this experience, but I'm not the experience. I am this eternal being, or you know, I am a child of the divine, or however we wanna think about it. Right? But that. That identification can be, it can be comforting in good times.

Mm-hmm. But it, there's a lot of risk with it, which I think is why, like in Buddhism for example, there's such an emphasis on detachment, you know, don't be too attached. And, but it sounds like, I mean, have you, because it. Obviously you have a new identity in terms of like, now you're a traveler and you're an author and so forth, but do you see more fluidity, I suppose, in terms of your identity or how do, what does it mean to you now?

Yeah. Now that you've lost that old identity. 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. I think for the first three years, maybe even four. [00:31:00] I didn't realize I was identifying as a victim. Mm-hmm. And I was really hanging on to some, to what I was calling pain. Mm-hmm. Like, somebody would say, I want you to work on yourself more before you get out there dating.

and I was just be like, I'm fine, I'm fine. And they're like, when somebody brings him up, We can see you get upset or you get mad. And I'm like, I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Mm-hmm. And I just kept saying that over and over again and I was like, you know, it still hurts. I think what, what happened still hurts.

And I go off on my travels and I come back and one friend says to me like, I know you feel like you're in a really good place, but I still see. Anger. And I was like, okay. And she said, there's this, you have bad energy in you right now and we need to get that bad energy out [00:32:00] and get good energy in.

She said, you have always been, your positivity has always been so powerful for other people around you, and it's not there right now. Mm-hmm. And she said, you've, I'm bubbly, I guess Uhhuh normally. but what, she really, she's like, this pain that you're hanging onto is not hurting anybody but you.

Hmm. You are not making. Your ex feel bad for you. Mm-hmm. He's moved on and you have to let go of this pain and it is a boomerang if you're manifesting more pain and more pain and more pain and, that it was just a huge wow moment for me because she was right. Mm-hmm. You know, 90% of my life I felt so positive and Powerful. But with this other 10%,[00:33:00] my identity was the victim. Hmm. And She asked me to, I was driving through, on a trip and she lives in Maryland and, I stopped and spent the night at her place. We went on a walk. She says all this to me and she says, will you listen to the Secret on the rest of your drive?

You got six more hours to Boston. So listen to this book and end that book. Somebody says, try saying this. I forgive you. I release you. I want you to be happy. And I just started practicing that. Mm-hmm. And I told my daughters, I told my friends I wanted accountability. I wanted to let this 10% go. I didn't wanna be feeling like a victim anymore.

And once she explained to me that I was doing it to myself and I was making that my identity, That I, I knew that's not who I wanted to be anymore. I wanted to finish this healing. Hmm. And so I did. I [00:34:00] forgave, I released and I wished them happiness, so it's, that is the biggest transformation I've ever had in my entire life.

it was bigger than, The loss of, the identity of a wife, the loss of the identity as a business owner. Yeah. Um, that's huge's huge. It was just reclaiming right. Yeah. My happiness to the nth degree, and boy my life changed. I felt like I had wings after that. Yeah. but I want people to understand it's a practice.

Yes. It is not, I forgive. It's not a one and one and I'm done. Yeah. Yeah. I used to say, and I think I. Wrote it, wrote this in the My book. But I felt like forgiveness or the lack of forgiveness was kind of like a high school bully. Just when I felt like I had actually forgiven that pain would come back around and snatched my happiness away.

instead of wanting my lunch money on the playground, it was taking my happiness. [00:35:00] But once. My friend convinced me or just explained to me in a very gentle and loving way that I was doing it to myself. That it changed my life once I had that realization. yeah. Yeah. And I'm, it's been beautiful when people read the book and they reach out to me and they're like, can I just sit and talk to you?

And, I just, I need to understand what that was like. And, I need that. I need to forgive, I need to move on. And, So it's, yeah, it's turning into basically a coaching business because I, people want to talk about it after. Mm-hmm. So that's pretty cool. 

Kara Goodwin: That is, that's awesome. That, releasing technique that you mentioned, it reminds me of, um, ho Opo No Pono.

Are you familiar with? No. It's an ancient Hawaiian practice. Mm. And it's, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. 

Kelly Collins: Oh, yes, I have heard that. 

Yes. 

Kara Goodwin: Yeah. And there have been, there was one psychiatrist [00:36:00] in particular who used it in a mental institution that was like all run down and just a hopeless place.

Mm-hmm. And he went through the files of the. The patients and he never actually met with the patients. I believe that's correct. That he didn't actually see any of them. He just took their file, read their file, internalized what they had been through and practiced ho oppo in with intention for them, with the understanding that.

we're all connected. Yeah. And what's within you? I have within me too. So if I can heal that, that's within me. It will help you. Yeah. And so a little bit of a different context with than what you were, you were working with personal pain, but it's amazing how like the how unlimited.

Practices like that can be where it's like, okay, we can work directly [00:37:00] on trauma or challenges that we're trying to get through ourselves. Right. And it's not bound to that. Right. We can help other people even Yeah. By doing things like that within ourselves. So yeah,it's like 

Kelly Collins: magic. It's amazing.

It is. Yeah. And that's, yeah. That was. What I was hoping for. Yeah. For people reading my book was magic. Yes. right. to see something in there. and every chapter, I also include an empowerment practice. And so there's. Some of them are a little woow. Woo. Cuz I'm a little woow. But some we love the Woo on the meditation conversation podcast.

Yeah. The woo. yeah. And it's pretty much the meditations that are the woo. Yeah. But, but I talk about, chapter one is I met this woman on the Camino Trail and she said, have you ever done a vision board? Mm-hmm. Because she could see, I mean, I was saying, I don't know what I'm gonna do next. I don't know what I'm gonna do next.

And she's like, You need a vision [00:38:00] board. And I'm like, yeah, I got a 20 pound backpack and I'm walking 13 miles a day. I don't have a poster board. Right? Yeah. and I'm like, and I had always been one of those people that rolled my eyes about that. And and she said, pull out your phone and start writing a list of words that make you happy.

And then start writing a list of words of things you wanna do. That will make you happy. Yeah, and I did, and it became this thing that I talked to people about through the entire seven weeks of the Camino. and I think it. She through me actually ended up inspiring other people to do the same because I was so excited.

Yeah. About how I felt, just writing those words down that I was telling everybody. Yeah. So like a little puppy, like, I'm so happy. This is so exciting. Yeah. and I think, That, the process of vision board and different ways to do a vision board. It doesn't have to be a board, it can be a story that, you're right, it [00:39:00] can be A painting, it can be a garden, Right. There's, 

Kara Goodwin: but it's really just different ways to kind of crystallize, to help what we want to form. Mm-hmm. You know, so that it's not just this diffused energy that we actually haven't tapped into and are being intentional about, but, The act of that kind of creation of the intention really helps mm-hmm.

To bring it into manifestation and 

Kelly Collins: Yeah. and I saw manifestation for the first time on the Camino too. Like I really, I saw it with wide open eyes and I knew that I had more energy and more power than I ever understood. Mm. You know, and I needed to use that for my own good. I love that. And, Yeah.

But the vision board, it's somebody, I was just talking to somebody about this yesterday and she said she had, she was reading one of Jack Canfield's books, I think it's Success Principles or something like that. And it was like, dream it, write it, share it. Mm-hmm. This is what makes it [00:40:00] happen.

And that's the vision. Right. And and that's awesome. but I think, these are, some of them are very practical things, the empowerment practices, but the feedback I've been getting on, I made the choice to do the life purpose resume, Kelly, and it was so cool. And now I think I actually wanna start my own business.

And it was like, oh wow. That's amazing. I know. It just fills me up. Fills me up. Well 

Kara Goodwin: tell people how they can connect with you, find out more about you, find your book, and 

Kelly Collins: so forth. My website is ck collins.co. And on the website there are a couple of freebie things that, if people don't want to read the entire book.

I wrote a, a tip sheet called 10 Ways to Get Unstuck, and these are, not as in depth as. In the book, but it's still,a possibility that somebody would connect with a few of those ways and be able to use it and they can actually find that at 10 ways to get unstuck.com. And that's totally free.

And I'd love it for [00:41:00] many people to, to read that. I'm actually got some videos on my YouTube site. Perfect that, go into a little bit more in depth, but yeah, my, the book is on Amazon. I'm gonna be launching, a companion workbook, swipe right effect workbook, and that'll be out in, probably the beginning of June.

Wonderful. 

Kara Goodwin: Good. Well, thank you so much for being here today. I've really enjoyed learning about your journey and your empowerment, practices and all the different ways that you're helping other people, so thank you so much. 

Kelly Collins: Thank you. I appreciate it.